17. April 2005 · Comments Off · Categories: imported, Ramble

… with the way my sick mind works (now I’ll have The Roches’ song My Sick Mind in my head) … I was playing opera last night and things were feeling fine. Really fine, in fact. I was enjoying the solo I have during the first act duet between the Dutchman and Daland quite a bit. But don’t you wonder what might be going through the mind of this nutty oboist as she is playing? Of course you do. (You may think you don’t want to know, but I’m sure you’re mistaken.)

Was I thinking “I love music! I love Wagner! I love making music with this group! Ah … delight. Wonder. Marvel at fine music!” …? WAS I?

Not quite.

I’m playing the first phrase. Feels good: “Oh. This is feeling fine. Yes. I like my reed. Oh dear. This feels good. I’ll probably blow it.”
Second entrance: “Still feels good. Hmm. Confidence. That could be a bad thing.”
Third entrance “Yep. Still feels nice. Good reed. Yay good reed. I’ll bet it’ll change by the end.”
Fourth entrance: ” Oh dear. This still feels good. You are getting too comfortable, Patty. You know this will come back to haunt you.”

… and so it goes.

Yes, I really do think these things (or something close to these things). I realize this is sick, but I’m just that way. And I’m honest, so I tell readers what’s going on. Probably a big mistake on my part. But oh well.

What a silly person I am. But at least I know it; acknowledging your illness is the first step to recover … right? ;-)

PS I hated my first note on the Big All Alone Solo. Will I never be totally content?But would total contentment cause me to worry and be discontent? Ah, what a dilemma.
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