I always felt that one day I would have to make the change in my own life, bite the bullet and see what it is to be a composer who conducts rather than the other way around.
-Esa-Pekka Salonen
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You don’t have to be German to play Brahms. I was very hurt. People think that way? It never occurred to me.
and later
I am a Chinese guy when I look in the mirror, but I’m a world citizen of music.
-Liang Wang, principal oboist of the New York Philharmonic
So fun to see Oboe News! As it should be. 😉
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I’ve written before about the carrot in front of the nose thing; music can amost always be better. But I’m realizing something else now. This is probably a big duh to most of you!
It seems a lot of musicians want to be something they are not. Lots of instrumentalists want to be conductors. Some succeed. Conductors and players want to become composers. It’s as if what they (we?) do is never enough.
You can read about Salonen’s retirement and his replacement and included in the article is Salonen’s plan to spend more time on composing. Joshua Bell would like to compose because, as he is quoted, “I’m a violinist, first and foremost, but I do believe the people who are the most immortal are the composers. The man on the street, he knows who Beethoven is, he knows who Mozart is. And I’d like to compose.”
Is that what it’s about, this lack of satisfaction? Is it wanting to be remembered? Or is it that nothing really satisfies completely in the long run?
Or is it wanting to be closer the beginning—if not, as in composing, THE beginning—of the creative process. Playing other people’s music, playing from the page, is a step (at least) away from creativity to some, I think.
For the record, I’m fine with where I’m “at”, even while I struggle with that darn carrot. But oboe playing? It’ll do just fine. 🙂
Ramble ramble. Am I making any sense at all? I think I need a Sunday afternoon nap. Especially after the horrible Giants loss. (And it was a GIANT loss: 10-4. Sigh. Grumble. Moan.)
The game is just too ugly to watch. I got home to this: Giants game. Middle of the 7th. 9-1. Bad Guys. Sigh.
And NOW? Now a “Junior Amercan Idol Finalist” is singing “God Bless America”. As if it is some kind of sexual love song. The way she looks. The voice. Annoyingly done. Hasn’t someone suggested to her that “God Bless America” isn’t a seductive love song?
Ugh. Ugh. Double ugh. And extremely ugly.
I’m glad we didn’t get tickets for this game. (It’s Easter … I’d never even consider it, actually.) So … game off. Back to life.
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But the behavior of one demographic remained absolutely consistent. Every single time a child walked past, he or she tried to stop and watch. And every single time, a parent scooted the kid away.
I like to think I’d listen. I really think I would. But of course what musician wouldn’t say the same? (But yes, I’ve stopped to listen to street musicians before, and yes, I’ve thrown $$ in the cases.) Besides, many think I’m rather immature and childish, so maybe that would guarantee I’d stop? Hmmm.
So read this article and enjoy. Think. Would you stop? Would you listen?
