I have decided to be brave and listen to myself. I am not good with this. Once a concert is over, after all, it is over. But yes, I can learn from listening to myself, and it’s time I stop being the coward and face the truth. So here goes …

Schubert Symphony No. 5, first movement

As all of my colleagues say, I can play louder. I always get that. Funny, but I say the same thing to my students. Go figure. I’m low to the flute at the beginning in some places. It could be compensation for thinking I’m always sharp. Hmmm.

Schubert Symphony No. 5, second movement

Well gee … do I know how to play out? Maybe not. (Or maybe it’s the placement of the microphone? Or maybe I just think there should be more oboe?) And the swelling on each note has got to stop! (Maybe I don’t do it all the time, but of course I’m hearing it that way.) I’m not going to go on and rant about other things … I’ll only “diss” myself so much. But I do hear things and I think, “Ick!” Long movement, this one.

Schubert Symphony No. 5, third movement

Okay … maybe this one isn’t so bad. So far.

Schubert Symphony No. 5, fourth movement

Not much in this for me anyway. (Actually the entire symphony doesn’t exactly feature oboe, which is why I braved this one rather than a few others that I had major solos in.)

Enough listening for now. Errands are calling.