Next were Rude Mechanicals, a prime example of when a group of extremely talented musicians get together and manage to play all the wrong notes together at the same time. A transvestite singer who resembles the dragged up corpse of Nancy from the play Oliver, a multi-talented Oboe player dressed in silver hot pants and an electric blue wig plus three ordinary blokes that look like they should be playing in a Dire Straits covers band. If Anat Ben-David was the siren at the end of a Lynch film then Rude Mechanicals resembled the Cantina band from Star Wars. The mixture of New Romantic Cabaret-Jazz (combined with my four bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale) was quickly sending me into slumber mode until I was rudely awakened by some of the highest operatic shrieking i’ve ever heard … glass shatteringly high! Yes it was the blue haired, silver thonged oboe player! Technically impressive as it was these high frequencies gave me (and probably a few other members of the audience) a bit of a headache. This was my cue to leave.

I think the minute one sees an oboe player in hot pants one should leave.

And if you ever see me in hot pants please shoot me.