Yes, I’m a bit sick to my stomach. And I’m sore! I think the OS™ (OboeStress™) really did a number on my body. Figures.

I’ll be spending this morning going over my RescueOboe™ so I’m more comfortable with it. (When you use a “second” instrument it can be very disconcerting). Meanwhile my stomach is just a mess, which is, I’m sure, all about stress.

This is a crazy business isn’t it? But no lives were lost. I didn’t injure anyone. And I’m guessing the majority of the audience didn’t even realize there was anything awry. Not that that matters … it’s the embarrassment in front of my colleagues and the imperfection of my performance that is so distressing. I can tell you when nothing would come out of the darn instrument the cold pit suddenly felt very, very warm.

I’m the sort who remembers nearly all of the negative and rarely remembers the positive. I remember all my mistakes, even from years and years ago. I don’t remember the good solos or the good reviews. It will take me at least a week to get this out of the very front of this thick skull, thought-wise. Then it’ll move to the back of the head and it’ll only haunt me in a minimal, handleable way.


  1. Interestingly, I just heard part of something yesterday on TV about that kind of thing – apparently we do typically only retain the positive stuff briefly, because we process it like “regular” input, whereas the negative is retained somehow. I think they were going to go on and explain how to change that, but I lost interest at that point…I think it was on PBS (KTEH, maybe?).

  2. Gee … that might imply that I’m … um … normal?!

    I always assumed this was part of my pathetically twisted personality.

    Thanks, Tim! I wonder if I can find the information somewhere online. It might make me feel better.

    Or not.