18. October 2008 · Comments Off · Categories: Symphony

… that I played well tonight. (The comment was even more flattering, actually, but I don’t want to get all goofy here.) I hadn’t asked the musician, but he just came up and told me.

Whew!

The thing was, I was having a most dreadful time on focusing. Sometimes my eyes just go wacky on me; I can’t see things clearly. It’s as if I’m going into my old daydream state I did when I was a kid; I loved having everything around me go out of focus and I was perfectly happy to be in my own little world. Yeah, I was weird that way. (Other ways too, to be honest.) So there I was, on stage, knowing that the first notes I play are soli with the trumpet. And I’m thinking, “FOCUS, doggone it! You can’t space out for the Debussy!” I had to work incredibly hard to keep my eyes in focus, and to keep my brain on music and not in some nebulous other world sort of place. I’ve not had this happen to me for an incredibly long time.

I’m not sure what was going on. Perhaps all my laziness today just added up and turned me into a space cadet? But it was a bit disconcerting. And no one wants to be disconcerted at a concert. Right? (Hmmm. Could it be that my iron level is going down again? Might that do this to me? I wonder!)

Later several other people also complimented me, so I’m assuming even though I was in la la land I did fine.

Tomorrow is another concert. This time I think I’ll have some coffee early enough to not get the shakes but late enough to make sure I’m wide awake and … I hope … focused!

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