22. May 2009 · Comments Off on How Much Should I Share? · Categories: Ramble, Videos

I know some of my students read this. So those ones are already “in the know” when it comes to my fears and foibles. But not all students read this. And I frequently wonder, “how much should I expose about who I am?”

Do I tell them I still find performance stressful and scary some of the time? Do I tell them that I fear failure almost daily? Do I admit that I’m not a great reed maker and that I struggle with that? (Well, okay, everyone knows about me and reeds!) Do I tell them that sometimes I want to run off a stage screaming, “I can’t take it any more?!”

Naw. I guess not. I guess it’s best to keep them thinking I’m a confident oboist who doesn’t worry much.

Of course if they listen to what I say during lessons they’ve probably figured much of this out!

But I also try to make it clear that I absolutely love this crazy business. I love being able to make music and to move listeners (and sometimes even colleagues). I love baring my soul … at least that’s how it feels at times. Music brings me tons of stress, it’s true, but it also brings joy and great rewards. I can’t imagine doing anything else.

And now here’s a little oboe playing (not by yours truly) for your enjoyment:

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