Today was one busy day. I taught students at UCSC. I practiced. I taught students at home. I had a symphony rehearsal.
Hmmm. I’m re-reading the above and suddenly it doesn’t sound like much.
But it felt like a lot. I was up a bit before 7 AM, and I am getting to bed after 11 PM. I’ve had very little down time. By the final hour of symphony tonight I was fried. So tired, in fact, I was having one of those, “I’m so tired I feel like crying,” kind of things. But of course I only felt like it … I didn’t do it! And then we got to the solo I actually enjoy playing in the Tchaikovsky Suite (I honestly can’t make sense of the solo in the first movement … I wonder if anyone hearing it can …?). So what do I do? I am supposed to be start it on an oboe middle B (meaning the one in the staff — above a piano middle C — and I use my side octave key! Yes. You read that right. But while the finger was misbehaving, my ear and embouchure were still thinking middle B. So the note was … well … it was just odd.
As I was walking to my car a colleague complimented me a good amount, but also said (as he knows me quite well), “And I’ll bet all you are thinking about is the one note you botched,” or some such thing. I didn’t take the time to explain how I really was feeling to him. (Again, too tired!) I just thanked him for his very kind words about my playing. But as I left, I was thinking, “Nope! For once I’m not beating myself up.”
Amazing, eh? But I honestly think I was simply too tired to even do that.
Tomorrow morning’s plan: sleep as long as I darn well please. And feel guilty about it because I know my dear pal dk can’t do it (sorry, friend!).
Now to bed with me … before it’s tomorrow!
