7 Comments

1. 
   patti with an i

   February 9, 2011 at 9:25 am

   Doesn’t one of them burn longer? No, wait, that’s a viola joke… does one of them sink to the bottom of the swimming pool faster?
2. 
   Patty

   February 9, 2011 at 10:00 am

   I thought the “burn longer” joke was about bassoon v oboe! Hmmm. Did we steal that from you poor violists?

   Never tried throwing the instruments in a swimming pool, though. Guess I’ll have to give that a go! Or not.
3. 
   patti with an i

   February 9, 2011 at 10:12 am

   I think you musta. Diff b/violin & viola is viola burns longer; and why? Because it’s always still in the case.

   The swimming pool thing came from the “Adventures of Sideman”; it was a quote from a hapless clarinet player doing a school show, talking about how grenadilla wood is heavy & doesn’t float.

   Diff b/viola & onion? Nobody cries when you chop up a viola.

   Why is a violin smaller than a viola? It’s not, the violinists’ heads are just that much bigger.
4. 
   Patty

   February 9, 2011 at 10:15 am

   We’re too busy with reeds to make up our own jokes, of course!

   LOVE the last one … too darn good!
5. 
   WestwindBob

   February 9, 2011 at 9:09 pm

   …and the difference between an oboe and a trampoline?

   You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
6. 
   patti with an i

   February 10, 2011 at 9:50 am

   Oh, yes, the trampoline one. We use that one too. I think most of the instrument jokes, if not all, have been told about the viola at one time or another. We’re the designated Polish people of the instrument world…

   During the orchestra rehearsal, an altercation breaks out between the last-stand viola player and the contrabassoonist; first angry whispers and fierce gesturing, but it progresses rapidly and they’re about to come to blows, so the conductor calls a halt and demands to know what in blazes is going on back there.

   The violist stands up, points to the bassoonist, and says, in high dudgeon,

   “This guy turned down one of my pegs… and he won’t tell me which one!”
7. 
   Patty

   February 10, 2011 at 10:13 am

   Since when does a contrabassoonist know how to turn pegs? Amazing!