It’s happening again. The “look back folks” are once again twisting their heads. And it drives me nuts!
Listen … be aware … definitely know what’s going on … but if someone makes a mistake do not look back! It’s rude. It’s inconsiderate. It’s entirely unnecessary. (Believe me, we all know when we make mistakes! Or at least most of us do.) I am astounded that more musicians don’t know that this is something we just do NOT do.
Trust me when I say I know what it’s like to see that come my direction. It can be rather crushing. It can certainly be annoying. I also know I did it once, got read the riot act by the trumpet player, and NEVER did it again. Ever. (Yes, I was very young when I did that … I promise!) He was much harsher than he probably should have been (calling the orchestra I was in — he was no longer with us — “your LITTLE orchestra” and going on about how awful we were), but he was justifiably angry. I should not have looked back. That automatic response when someone is the flawless player he usually was should have been stifled.
And conductors? Well, they can be a bit of a frustration too. We expect correction. Honestly, we do! (Although I must admit that some of my colleagues even react to simple comments like, “You’re sharp!” or “Too loud!” which I find humorous.) But those nasty looks? Those head shakes? Sigh. They can eat up our souls. Or something.
I remember, MANY years ago, sitting next to a fantastic oboist. At a rehearsal she made a little mistake. A look of total disgust and the “conductor head shake” took place. So unnecessary! She let the conductor know, somewhat privately, during the break (but I obviously heard the exchange since I can write about it now). “You think you’re upset that I made a mistake? I feel even worse! I don’t need to see that look from you!” she said, or something very close to that.
I would never talk to a conductor like that. She was a brave soul. But I do think conductors’ head shakes and looks of disgust are rather unnecessary and frequently damaging.
And finally … the “performer head shake”.
Made a mistake?
You can’t change it. It passed quickly even if it felt like a lifteime. If you are at a rehearsal consider yourself fortunate: you can mark your part and make sure it never happens again! If it’s at a performance NEVER react. The audience came to enjoy, not see musicians being annoyed with themselves (or others).
Let. It. Go.
After all, we don’t have any “take backs” in music. No “three strikes” either. It’s right. It’s wrong. No do overs. Move on.
And yes, I’m writing that last paragraph to myself as well as to others. (I know a few of you would laugh while reading this if I didn’t make it clear I’m in the “can’t let it go” and self-flagellation frame of mind much of the time.) I don’t do head shakes, but it can take me well over a year to get over some mistakes and I’m working very hard at stopping that behavior.
Or behaviour. You choose.