I enjoyed playing last night, and was actually fairly happy with all but one thing I did. Being satisfied is a good and bad thing; I like being content with my playing, but I do have another performance so I want to have it be even better. The “good patty” says “You’ll make it even better!” and the “bad patty” says “Well, now you’ll most surely blow it.”
Aren’t voices inside our heads a wonderful thing?
The audience seemed receptive, but not enough to stand at the end. I wonder if the jazz night is too much for many. I wonder if they feel that the music of the “old dead white guys” are the only works who deserve a standing O because, after all, they are dead but still being played and, well, the work must be good then, right? I don’t know if that’s really the case … I’m just wondering aloud.
But standing Os are often a puzzlement. Sometimes when an audience stands I want to scold them and explain that they were cheated—that we didn’t play well. Or that the work isn’t as good as they think (But who am I to make that judgment/judgement*?). Sometimes I want to yell “Stand up, for heaven’s sake!” because I know the performance deserved it. Sometimes it’s the work that demands an O, I think.
But of course that’s just my opinion. And I have silly opinions sometimes.
I’m not saying they should have stood last night, by the way. I’ve wandered away from last night’s concert.
Don’t worry … I’ll wander back at 2:30 today! 🙂
*Have you noticed that the word judgment – or judgement (you choose!) – is a very odd looking word, no matter how you decide to spell it?