“Oh. You were playing? I just thought it was a very good high school player. Good job!”

Comment by an audience member who came to Cats today. And to think I get nervous even for a high school production when I have big solos (and I do). Silly me. And someone again said we sound “just like a tape we are so good.”

Now I really like the kids in the band, and they are doing a very good job. But, sorry folks, it isn’t as good as a professional production. So what does one do with comments like I’ve mentioned, and how can (should?) I get folks to listen more carefully? I don’t think there are any easy answers. I don’t know that there are any answers at all, in fact. It’s not my job, I suppose, to do anything about this. And I don’t know that people all need to listen differently than they are listening now.

I’m just sort of pondering, though.

And I’m still called to play my very best which, truth be told, I am doing, believe it or not! I am playing as expressively as I always do, and I”m working on making sure that I play in tune as much as is possible, even with the pitch being somewhat … well … maybe I should call it a “Flexible A” or a “Moveable La” or something?

I am in no way putting down the kids, by the way. They are doing a worthy job. They really are! They just aren’t professional or mature players yet. That’s all. Do they hear the difference between what they do and what I do, I wonder? I can’t really tell. Sometimes a little lazy voice inside starts saying, “Just let it go. Put less energy into this, you silly girl.” But I don’t succumb and I really don’t think it is right to do so. I am called to play my best, just as they are called to play their best.

Ramble ramble ramble … and now back to the show. Call time 6:00, curtain, 7:30. Clean-up following. It’s going to be a late night.