11. April 2008 · 2 comments · Categories: Ramble

So some oboists are having fun at a conservatory.

But all I can think is “I need that t-shirt” … something … anything to verify that “I am a musician.”

Because right now I’m not feeling like a musician.

It’s funny how that happens sometimes. But today it’s not so funny; I have a Magic Flute rehearsal and a chamber music concert tonight.

All I have to do to get over this, of course, is pull out the oboe and start playing. Well, most of the time. I tend to build up this “I can’t play any longer” fear and—this probably sounds incredibly odd to many of you—I think “I’ll not know how to play a single note!”

I realize it’s not rational. I’ve been playing professionally since 1974. What I know won’t so suddenly disappear.

Or will it?

Does anyone else have this fear? Am I alone in the world?

Hmm. Now I have “I’m All Alone in the World” in my head. From Mr. Maggoo’s Christmas Carol. Boy does hearing that song bring back memories! It was one of “my” songs when i was a kid, as I decided early on—as did so many other kids, go figure—that I was all alone in the world, was misunderstood, lonely, and of course heartbroken. I was silly that way. (Other songs: “All Alone in my Corner in my Own Little Chair”, I Am A Rock (which my kids sometimes tease me about!) and “How Can You Mend A Broken Heart” all because of the “How can a loser ever win?” line. Pathetic, eh? Aren’t you glad I’m over all that?)

Oh dear. Let’s move on ….

So back to videos … there’s another (where one student is blowing through the reed while another student is fingering the oboe) by the same person that shows a reed a bit better. That is one very short reed!


  1. Patti- while I doubt this is exactly the same as your fear, ever since I watched a friend’s horn playing career end (not quite abruptly) due to focal dystonia, that kind of loss has always been in the back of my mind….

    And moving outside of oboe for a minute, I sincerely doubt you’re alone in fearing the loss of one of those things that means so much…

    Anyway- as always, thanks for the thoughts, and have fun playing tonight…

  2. Thanks for the comment and for wishing me “fun” tonight. I’ll let you know!