oboeinsight

An oboe doesn’t cover much. Even the thinnest of women or men will find it can’t hide enough. So using an oboe as protection … well … it ain’t gonna work folks!

Only their instruments will protect the modesty of artistic director David Curtis, viola player Vanessa Murby, percussionist Tim Farmer, oboist Louise Braithwaite and French horn player Kai Hoffman.

Um. “Modesty”? I’m thinking maybe not.

I’m not sure I want to even visualize this. Naked musicians? On stage? Bouncing around?

The article begins with this:

Cuts in funding have taken the clothes off the back of Stratford’s Orchestra of the Swan.

Five of its musicians will perfoming nude on fashion programme How To Look Good Naked next month.

Heh. There is simply no way for me to “look good naked” and I don’t care if anyone tries to convince me there is. That’s final.

The artistic director (!) says:

“The programme is very much about developping confidence, and the nudity is just a metaphor of being comfortable with who you are.

Now wait. I thought it was a metaphor for not having funds. Or something … and what is with all those exxtra letters anyway? Making up for the lack of clothing?

Mostly I think it’s a gimmick. Cuz ya gotta have one. When you are stripping down to nothing.

Repeat after me, “I promise not to use the word plaintive to describe English horn because it’s been done. Too many times.”

Okay. Don’t. See if I care!

But of course it’s happened again. What can I say? Here you go:

Following the concerto to conclude the concert the orchestra gave its best reading of Dvorak’s “New World” symphony, proving that familiarity in this case bred maturity and skill. Despite the popular — but incorrect — belief that the insipid theme of its famous slow movement is a spiritual, the plaintive melody introduced by a warm English horn and reflected in ethereal strings was sustained and played well.

Well, okay. The writer is really saying the melody is plaintive, and the EH merely played it. I guess the English horn was warm too. Nice.

And can someone tell me … is that melody insipid? I never thought so. Hmmm. Oh well.

I read it all here. And no, I’m not going to review the rest of the review. No matter what.