I get nervous. Not always, but sometimes. I frequently am nervous for opening night, no matter how many rehearsals we’ve had. After that I usually am more relaxed, unless I have a very difficult part that never allows me to completely let down.
But I also move back into NerveLand™ when I know someone in the audience. This afternoon, as I was walking from the parking garage, a group of people were walking next to me. The man looked at my case (on my back) and asked, “What do you play?” When I told him he said that his cousin (I think it was a cousin) plays oboe and EH on Broadway, and had done Beauty and the Beast but was now on to Mary Poppins and South Pacific. (TWO shows? How is that possible?) So of course that made me a tad nervous.
Between shows I had a wonderful time with some friends who were coming to the 8:00 show. So of course I was nervous again. Especially knowing one is an oboist! (See the power you wield, Ben?!) After the show he commented on the amount of oboe and English horn — especially noting the EH. He’s right; there’s a good amount, and mostly it’s fun, to play. Things went okay (he complimented me, but what else could he do?!) but of course I know I could have been better. My reeds are doing funny things (I go back and forth between a few during the shows) and I’m hoping it’s just weather and not something more serious. Like a crack I’m not seeing. Those tend to happen to me. A lot.
After tonight’s show there was the big party. I considered going up until the second half of the show. Then I remembered how much I dislike these big parties, and how I always wind up staying too long and leaving somewhat wiped out. So it was straight home for me. I’m finally getting wiser about things like this.
So now I’m home and I go right back tomorrow for two more shows. (Hah! I typed “two more shoes” first. I’m tired!) Then I have a day off … except that I teach my private students. Next week we have a 9 show week. Busy times!
I keep telling myself that someday soon I’m going to plan my schedule so I have two days off in a row, but it seems impossible. I have been attempting to put together my summer teaching schedule and I currently have students who have asked for Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Wouldn’t ya know? Still, I doubt I will take any vacations this summer anyway, so maybe that’s just fine.
Next year, though, will be different. I think. 🙂
