WHAT I LEARNED AT THE SYMPHONY:

Most women there wear a dress or skirt

Most men there are at least fifty and have the same ring of hair cuz they’re balding

I can’t remember which is the oboe and which is the basoon

Suzophones just remind Mike Kelly’s GF Vanessa Marcano of that video on youtube of the Suzophone and the saxophone talking on the telephone

Clarinets make me sleepy

Operas tell a story but I don’t speak what ever language they are written in

The conductor introduced himself as John Bon Jovi

Intermission does not rhyme with interrogation or indeterminate

Bright cellphone screens are remarkably distracting in a dimly lit concert hall