(done in jest, of course … I really do like flute players!)

A law was made a distant moon ago here—
An oboe player never will be shot.
And there’s a legal limit to the flute here.
In Reedsalot.

Free oboe reeds to every single player
who plays the oboe, I say “Heck, why not?”
And all the flutists have to be real ugly
in Reedsalot.

Free oboe reeds for everyone.
Reedsa lot!
It surely is the best of fun.

So if you want to be a rotten person
choose flute to play (although you might get shot),
But better far, tis true
the oboe choice for you
for happ’ly ever aftering right here
in Reedsalot.

PEM 2/11/07

… and because I can’t for the life of me guess Lancelot’s first note in “If Ever I Would Leave You” (how he manages I don’t know!)

If Ever I Could Find It

If ever I could find it—
the pitch to sing this song.
I would be so happy,
and I’d sing along.
But no I can’t find it—
it’s a myst’ry to me,
and so I’ll flounder sadly.
Poor me.

If ever I could find it—
you’d probably be flustered.
Bet you’d miss your entrance
and that would be bad.
And so I won’t find it—
I’m just thinking of you.
I know it is the right thing
to do.

And could I sing it
if the trumpets blared it out?
Or would I still be scared and cry?
Without a doubt!

I guess I’ll stick to oboe.
I know it will be better.
Knowing how I sing
you are surely relieved!
Or are you disgusted?
Does my playing appall?
I guess I shouldn’t be here
at all.

PEM 2/11/07


These lyrics go along with the beginning of the Sugar Plum Fairy tune … sing along with the celesta! (Oh … and the parenthetical lines are the bass clarinet/clarinet lines.)

Butt Nut

My poor butt is sore
I cannot sit anymore
And I’m tired.
I should really go
(but you cannot leave)

Yes, I know but still
I think of home and I dream
of my bed
I’m tired of this show!
(that’s just too darn bad)

Okay, I will stay
and I will play one more day
(for more pay)
Aren’t you proud of me?
(I can’t really say)

Still I’m weary
This is dreary
I feel bleary
Let’s all flee!

12/20/07 pem

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